Intentional Dating

About Intentional Dating

Dating, as with just about any human undertaking, involves two overlapping journeys: the external and the internal.

Outwardly, dating might be about getting someone to like you, hang out with you, sleep with you, marry you, etc. Often, we arrive on the dating scene only to realize that we lack a certain set of skills: how to approach a stranger; how to foster genuine conversation; how to build attraction; when and how to initiate sex; how to discern and communicate what we want out of a relationship. Most of us are not taught these skills and end up “learning on the job.” Struggles in these areas are often internalized as rejection, shame, and even a sense that we are unloveable.

Inwardly, dating is an opportunity to confront and heal all the mental junk we’ve been carrying around since birth. After all, nothing brings our insecurities roiling to the surface like putting ourselves out there! Uncomfortable though it can be at times, dating can be an invitation to heal shame, challenge self-limiting beliefs, and become more confident, authentic version of our Selves. Sex, love, and intimacy are often happy side-effects of this personal growth process!

As a therapist, I aim to assist you in clarifying your goals for dating and clearing up the mental and emotional blocks between you and the kind of relationships you want. Whether you’re looking for casual hookups, friends with benefits, or lasting love, I am here to support you in your dating journey, both external and internal!

Benefits of Intentional Dating Counseling

  • Learn to create authentic attraction without gimmicks, lines, pickup, tricks, seduction, negs, etc.
  • Work through fear and anxiety
  • Develop confidence
  • Successfully date after breakup or divorce
  • Explore sexual fantasies, desires, and preferences
  • Process unresolved rejection events
  • Confront self-limiting beliefs
  • Explore identity in the context of dating
  • Clarify goals of dating, sex, and relationships
  • Recover self-esteem potentially damaged by negative relationship interactions
  • End relationships with integrity

Common Reason for Seeking Intentional Dating Counseling

Dating after Breakup or Divorce
Online Dating

Approach Anxiety

Questions about Sex and Sexuality

Concerns Due to Previous Dating or Sexual Relationships

Fear of Rejection

Sexual Performance Anxiety

Concerns About Deepening a Dating Relationship

Questions About Health of Dating Relationship

Recommended Resources

  • Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate, Stan Tatkin
  • Dating Essentials for Men, Robert Glover
  • No Breakup Can Break You: The Definitive Recovery Guide for Men, Nick Dawson
  • Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Ever After, Katherine Woodward Thomas
  • Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship, Mira Kirschenbaum

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